


A Sting in the Way You Kiss Me

by NovaCaelum



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Explicit Language, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-06-09 07:37:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15262569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NovaCaelum/pseuds/NovaCaelum
Summary: The mark stood proudly on his back, like some kind of joke. Soulmates weren't real, and John refused to believe it.





	1. Can't You See That You're Lost

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, welcome to my fic about SilverFlint being soulmates. So anyone remember when it was said that Silver and Flint were seen as soulmates? Boi, I've been thinking about it FOREVER. So, here's my take on that, I've seen soulmate au's before, this one is going to be a little different.
> 
>    
> Title from _[Dance Macabre by Ghost](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9pFB0DS-bQ)._

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and James meet at a mutual friends birthday party, unaware that their souls are forever intertwined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from _[Cirice by Ghost](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOrXKiSy8ZY)_.

John sighed, "Why do I have to go?"

"For Jack, he's our friend John! It's his birthday, it's only one night. You might meet someone special."

The look in Max's eyes told John exactly what she was thinking about; but he didn't believe that his soulmate existed--didn't think he was even worthy of having anyone like that. Besides, the mark that would prove who he was attached to was hidden on his back, where he never had to see it, "Fine. For Jack." _Mostly just to shut Max up_.

"Good!" Max hugged him, "Make sure you dress up nicely." She smiled, ignoring the look that John shot her and was leaving before he could start protesting again.

\- - - -

When John arrived at the party, Max waved him over, he embraced Jack and wished him a happy birthday before turning to Max, "Please tell me you put some money behind the bar."

"Like you don't have any," She scoffed, rolling her eyes, "But I did actually. Anne and I put enough hopefully for half the night. If you don't bleed it dry."

John just smiled and walked over to the bar, ordering himself a whiskey; he eyed up the man sitting on the stool beside him and rose a brow. He was gorgeous, short ginger hair, a well groomed beard and piercing green eyes, he felt weirdly drawn to him, "Hey there," The man turned his head, his eyes narrowing, "You're friends with Jack?"

"Kind of...I know Charles better than him, but he wanted a plus one so I got dragged into it. He said it would make Jack feel better if more people were here."

John nodded, "I'm John. I know Jack through Max, my so-called best friend who won't shut up about--you know what, it doesn't matter," He threw back his drink and ordered another one, "She's a pain in the ass."

"I'm James." He ordered himself a drink, hoping to ignore John, he could already tell that this man was going to be annoying. He pulled out his phone, he unlocked it and began reading where he had left off on his ebook.

John curiously looked over at James, "You came to a party, to read?"

"Why not?" James sighed, "Charles ditched me for some guy about ten minutes ago."

John furrowed his brows, "Maybe he left because you're anti-social."

"Really?" James put his phone away, turning to face John, "And you're extremely annoying. Don't you have anything better to do than pester someone at the bar?"

"Hmm...Nope," John popped the p, smirking, "I make it my lifes work to get people out of their shell. You'd be surprised at how much--"

"It never works?" James suggested, this time, he smirked at John, "That wouldn't surprise me."

John huffed, "Okay, so I haven't succeeded yet. But, I refuse to give up on anyone. It's bound to work at some point."

"Keep telling yourself that," James turned back to his drink, swallowing it in one go, "I feel like I'm only encouraging you by keeping up a conversation. So, if you could kindly _fuck off_."

John turned away, finishing his second drink, deciding if it was worth it or not, "John?" He turned his head to who called his name, smiling at the sight of Billy, "I didn't think this was your type of thing."

"Blame Max," John rolled his eyes, Billy nodded in understanding, "I didn't know you were close enough to Jack for this shit either."

Billy shrugged, "We work together, I thought moral support might make him feel better. Anyway, there was this really hot guy..."

John rose a brow, assessing the grossly dreamy look plastered onto Billy face, "Gross."

"Billy," Charles approached the group, frowning at James, "James," James looked over at Charles, "I hope you're being nice."

"When am I ever nice? Is this who you ditched me for?"

Billy looked offended and Charles frown changed quickly to a glare, "Billy and I are soulmates."

"Ugh," John got up, ordering another drink, "I can never escape this **shit**. Billy, why would you do this to me?"

Billy chuckled at John's response, "Just because you haven't met yours yet."

"Never will. Mine doesn't exist," John pulled a face, almost like he was about to throw up, "First Max, now you. I'm surrounded by hopeless romantics, you don't help the cause at all," He looked over at Charles, raising his glass, "Congratulations, Billy is mostly cool I guess. Bye." He walked away from the group, leaving Charles to frown again.

"What's his problem?"

Billy shook his head, getting them both a beer, "He thinks that soulmates are made up by the 'powers-that-be' to make us all mindless slaves comfortable in life before they strike us down. Or something, he's weird. Once he gets one, and he will, I've seen his mark, it's only half there, he'll change his mind."

"I can actually agree with him, don't tell him that though," James spoke up, discomfort clear on his face, "It is a bullshit idea."

"You're just jealous too," Charles pulled Billy close, smirking at James, "Just because that one guy you dated wasn't _the one_ doesn't mean no-one will be. You'll feel the pull eventually."

James shrugged, rolling his eyes; he ordered another drink, sipping at this one slowly. Of course, he wouldn't admit that he felt a strong pull towards John, it was ludicrous. They didn't know each other at all and he was an annoying little shit who couldn't keep his mouth shut. John was his exact opposite, life wouldn't be that cruel to him, right?

He found his eyes scanning the room, his stomach dropping when he saw John talking to what looked like someone he worked with... _Muldoon_ , that was his name. They were laughing, and far too close for comfort...Suddenly, James got the urge to rush over and pull Muldoon away; that thought made him ache.

John was glad to find at least one sane person in this room, Muldoon seemed nice, he was up for a good joke too, especially at the expense of James, "I can't believe you actually tried to make conversation with him. Everyone at work ignores him, he's practically seen as the devil."

"He's not that bad," John knew it was a lie, but he felt the need to defend James, he couldn't understand why and he hated it, "It was fun to get under his skin at least," He leaned closer to Muldoon, "You want to ditch this place?" Despite the strange pull he'd felt towards James, he could appreciate that Muldoon was good looking and it had been a few months since he'd had a good lay.

Muldoon was a little shocked, but he didn't have any commitments; he'd just assumed with how John hadn't shut up about James since they started talking, that he was interested in him, "Sure. I bet it will be more fun." John smirked, he put down the glass he'd been nursing then grabbed Muldoon's hand and made for the door.

James had been watching, not that John had noticed and when he saw the two men leaving together, it felt like his heart dropped and there was an un-explainable pain in his left bicep. He knew his soul-mark was there, but he didn't want to acknowledge the fact that John could be the person he'd been searching for, even since things had ended badly between him and his ex. He knew, all along, when he soul-mark never completed that Thomas wasn't the one, his death had hurt, but it never tore James apart despite loving him for so long and so deeply. Because that pain would have been a million times worse had it been his soulmate who he'd lost. He couldn't believe he was actually considering this. James ordered another drink, deciding that drowning his sorrows would be better than pondering what John was to him.

~ ~ ~ ~

After Muldoon had left, John didn't feel fulfilled, his back hurt and he knew it wasn't due to the sex; but he didn't want to look in the mirror. His soulmate didn't exist and he kept himself closed off for that exact reason; he hadn't felt drawn to Muldoon, but it was nice to try take his mind away from the one person that was plaguing it. _James_...That pull that he had felt was confusing him. _It's just because James was attractive_ , John kept telling himself that, but every time those words ran through his head, they felt less and less true. He was being stupid about this, James didn't even like him anyway, there's no way two people so different would ever be soulmates.

And maybe, if he kept telling himself that, it would eventually feel true. But right now, it was the opposite of any truth that was screaming in his face. John would likely never see James again, and that would be the end of those stupid thoughts. That would work, not seeing James would surely prove that John was right. He was just attracted to him and he was already driving himself crazy over this entire thing...God, he was being so stupid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> John seems a bit crazy, at least from his friend's perspective, BUT, I promise he isn't. They're just over-exaggerating. And, if he does seem crazy, don't worry too much about it. It will be fixed soon :) He just needs James in his life to change his mind!


	2. Unwanted Link

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James begins to face up to the truth regarding John.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really expected to upload this sooner than I did but I got carried away with what I wanted to do for this chapter, lol. Here it is anyway! :)

It had been a few weeks since Jack's birthday party, James hadn't seen John and he'd tried his damn hardest to not track him down. After his hangover had cleared the day following the party, he found that the soul-mark on his left arm was no longer just the left-half of an anchor, it was now full and James had tried to ignore it. Hoped to place the change on someone else, since the party had been full of new people he'd never met before; but despite that, his mind kept straying back to John. It was annoying the hell out of him, then again, John had come across as the most annoying person when they had met. James knew, deep down, that John was the one...His **soulmate** , God, he wanted to punch something; it was far too early in the day to go and have a drink, anything to save himself from those stupid thoughts for at least a little while.

James could have hit himself, _why was he thinking about this in a coffee shop_ , of all the places for his mind to be plagued, especially when it was so full of people. Once he got the counter, he ordered the strongest coffee they had then stood off to the side; he pulled out a book to read while he waited, he knew it would be sometime before his coffee was ready since the shop was busy. After a short time of being stood there, James felt like he had an itch he couldn't reach, he shoved his book back in his bag and glared into the shop, like it was the fault of the people around him why he felt this way; then his eyes landed on a familiar person in the queue, _John_. Well, **fuck** , did a higher power have something against him?

He barely even heard his name being called, he quickly collected his drink and made a move to leave, "Oh. James!" _Just great_ , he turned to John and smiled, "I thought it was you when I saw your hair--Sorry, that sounds weird," He laughed, James thought it was sweet, he seemed nervous, "Do you want to find a seat together? Since it's busy."

"Sure," Now James definitely wanted to punch himself, he couldn't understand why he agreed, but he couldn't back down now, "I'll grab us a table." John nodded; James left John in the queue and sat at the nearest empty table.

It took a while for John to join him at the table James had picked, "It's very busy today."

"Yeah. Do you normally come to this coffee shop?"

John shrugged, he took a sip of his coffee before speaking, "I was just passing by and needed a little pick-me-up before work."

"That's a good idea," James nodded in agreement, he drank some of his own coffee. How was he supposed to think of anything good to ask in this situation? Could he just bring up the soulmark and hope John agreed? He wasn't really in a rush to be stuck with him, but the warmth that enveloped him, just sat this close to John, was comforting. An idea popped into his head, he placed his cup down and shrugged off his jacket, "It's warm in here."

John was half-way nodding in agreement when his eyes fell on the anchor on James arm; it felt so familiar to him, and the image of his half-anchor popped into his brain, "I have something like that," John pointed it out. James raised a brow, waiting for John to say more, "Yeah, mine is on my back. I don't get to see it too often, the last time I looked it was still only half an anchor. I don't really care." He shrugged then drank some more of of his drink; curiosity was bubbling away at him. He knew what soulmarks were, but he didn't want to admit that James was his soulmate, that would mean he was attached to something...Under any circumstances, he couldn't have that attachment.

"Right," James nodded, he distracted himself for a moment by drinking more of his coffee. _How was he supposed to say something?_ He felt like this situation was about to get very awkward, "You know, the mark only matches to your soulmate, right? No-one else would have an anchor."

John blinked in surprise, mostly rattled that James so easily admitted it, "So, you're my soulmate?" He couldn't help but laugh, more out of nervousness, "We don't even know each other."

"Yeah, because **_I_** chose you," James scoffed, "You didn't exactly give the best first impression."

John rolled his eyes, "Thanks," His response was bitter, James' jaw almost dropped at the tone in his voice, "I do actually have friends who enjoy my personality and get on with me. It's not like I'm the devil. Yeah, I try too hard when I first meet people, it's just the way that I am," He paused, unsure as to why this had gotten him so worked-up, "You're the worst soulmate ever." He stood up and left before James made him even more angry.

James was left sitting at the table, completely stunned by the way John reacted, he hadn't expected him to really care about what he was saying; but James felt like he understood, when he'd first finally realised that the last person in his life wasn't his soulmate, he was crushed. And now, James was acting like a bit of an asshole towards John, he practically shot out of his seat and followed after him, hoping to catch up. When he noticed the curly black hair not too far down the street, he felt determined and quickly caught up to what he hoped was John, "Hey," He turned and James was grateful to see John's face, "I'm really sorry. This is new to me too, I don't know how to react. I don't know you and I shouldn't make any judgements of you."

"Thank you for apologising," John glanced at his watch,"I'm going to be running late, uh...Pass me your phone?" James was confused for a moment, then he realised what John was doing so he took his phone out, unlocked it and handed it over, finding himself staring as John typed away, "Here, now you have my number. We should talk properly sometime."

James nodded, taking his phone back from John's hand, "Okay, that's a good idea. I'll see you some other time then."

"Yeah, bye for now." John gave a short wave and with that he was gone; James looked at his phone, smiling at having John's number. He shook off the feeling of joy and decided he should also head to work before he ended up being late...

~ ~ ~ ~

James wasn't sure why he agreed to meeting up in a night-club of all places, but John said it would be somewhere they could sit in a corner and talk quietly without anyone paying attention to them. So he turned up, John was at the bar, drinking and clearly annoyed about something; James resolved to go over as he saw the man at John's side make a grab for him. He pulled John away, "Sorry babe, were you waiting long?" John just shook his head, in awe and thanks as the guy slinked off; James slowly let go and ordered himself a drink, "Where do you want to sit?"

"Over there," John nodded to an empty booth, it was as close to the corner as they could get; James followed John to the booth, they sat together, "Now no-one should pester us," James nodded, he shifted so there wasn't much of a space between them; John was right, the music was a little quieter, people that passed by didn't even glance at them, "Let's start with the simple stuff. I'm John Silver, I work doing marketing."

"James Flint, I run my own business," He smiled, then downed his drink; John chuckled, downing his own, "What?"

John shrugged, standing up, "I'm just not surprised. I'll go order some more drinks for us," James nodded, waiting patiently as John went to the bar; just as he was pulling out his phone, John was returning, "I told the bartender we were sat over here, someone is going to bring our drinks over. Were you going to read again?"

"No," James answered, far too quickly and definitely too soon from the knowing grin on John's face, "Just because I enjoy the wonder of books."

"In a nightclub," John chuckled, "I guess this isn't your type of thing then."

"What gave that away?" James grinned, he felt comfortable joking with John like this, their drinks arrived on a tray and James raised his brow at the shots, "Trying to get me drunk?"

John just smiled brightly, he threw back a shot, pushing the tray towards James, "Let go for once, have fun. Get to know me, and I'll read any book you suggest. Then we've both had a glance into each other's world. This is me," John hinted to the club, then he grabbed another shot, "Loud and probably annoying, but fun." He ended his sentence with a wink, before drinking the shot.

James shook his head, but relented and grabbed a shot, downing it quickly, much to the obvious joy of John, "I only appreciate good literature, just so you know, none of that _Fifty Shades_ shit."

"Fair enough," John nodded, he grabbed a glass of whiskey, "I had you pegged as a kinky guy though, since you're boring on the outside."

James just smirked, downing another shot, "Maybe you'll find out one day, and whatever that insult of a book is, it's not kinky. Actually, it's also insult to anything remotely considered as a kink." John just laughed, drinking some of his whiskey; he was beginning to really enjoy James' company and it wasn't due just to the pull from his mark.

~ ~ ~ ~

When James woke up, his hand instantly went to his head; _God_ , he hadn't been hungover in years. Slowly, he opened his eyes, blinking a few times at the strangeness of where he was; once it came to him that John had practically carried him to his apartment, he groaned. His mouth was dry, he knew he needed a drink, with a sigh, James pushed himself out of the bed, grateful to see that he still had his shirt and boxers on. At least that ruled out any thought of something happening so soon with John, he wouldn't have minded, John was attractive and James wouldn't deny that. But he'd been drunk and they still barely knew each other; he didn't want to come across as a one-night-stand type of person, especially not with his soulmate of all people. James pushed the thoughts aside, he found his jeans folded neatly on the top of the dresser and pulled them on, they looked and smelled clean which made him wonder when John found the time to wash them. Instead of dwelling on those thoughts, he ventured out of the room in search of the kitchen, desperately in need of a drink.

It didn't take him too long to find it, he was a little shocked to see John up and about, "Morning," John turned, smiling softly, "Do you have Aspirin?"

"Yeah," John opened one of the kitchen draws, placing the packet on the worktop, "Need a drink too?"

"Please," James smiled, John poured him a glass of water. James took two of the tablets, drinking half the glass of water along with them, "My mouth is like a desert. Thanks for cleaning my jeans too."

John chuckled, so softly that James nearly mistook it for John clearing his throat, "No worries. You're welcome to take a shower and get the rest of your clothes done too. You seemed happy enough only getting your jeans off last night," A playful grin on John's face made James rub a hand over his own, embarrassed at himself, "I've seen worse drunken people than you. It was nice to see you get out of your shell."

"I don't remember too much. Thanks for letting me stay here," James drank the rest of the water, "I keep seeming to say thank you."

Both of them laughed, James cringing at the pain in his head, "Well, I did ask your address but I couldn't make out a word of it. I don't mind sleeping on my couch anyway, I've had a few late-nights working so I bought something comfortable enough for me to pass out on."

"Sorry for stealing your bed," James smiled despite his apology; he was definitely wrong about John, sure he talked a lot and that could get annoying, but he was sweet, giving up his own bed and personal space for James. He did wonder if John would have done so regardless of what they were to each other, "I should get out of your hair. You've already done more than enough for me."

John smiled sincerely, "Honestly, don't mention it. I know we're still getting to know each other, but you seem like a really nice guy. I would have hated myself to just leave you trying to find your own way home. Do you want to go for lunch tomorrow? We can talk all about your books."

"Yeah, that sounds good. Is 1pm alright?" John nodded, "Great. Tomorrow, I'll let you know where to meet me." James smiled again; _when was the last time smiles came so easily?_ John was already having an effect on him.

"I put your stuff on the coffee table."

James nodded, refraining himself from saying thank you, again; he went and grabbed his things, pushing them into the pockets of his jeans, "See you tomorrow." John nodded, watching as James left his apartment. Maybe, he could get used to having a soulmate after all; James did seem like such a decent guy, John could already feel himself growing closer to him.


	3. Eternal Bond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and John grow closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These gays, bonding...I love them. ALSO, major skip over book-talk, the only books I read are manga, oops.
> 
> This chapter is rated Explicit. ;)

John had ended up picking a noodle bar for him and James to have lunch together, it was a small place and quiet. For some reason, James felt uncomfortable in a place like this, he'd expected John to pick somewhere bursting with people; like when they'd gone to the night-club together. It felt like being with a bull in a China shop. John was the bull: loud and obnoxious and stuck in such a quiet place. James just couldn't imagine it, yet they sat there, having just ordered food and John looked like he'd been here a million times before, "Is this place nice?"

"Yeah. Well, Max suggested it," John smiled rather sheepishly and James couldn't help the way his lips curved, "I asked if she knew anywhere good for us to have a chat and nice food."

James nodded in understanding, "I wouldn't have thought you picked this place, it seems too quiet for you. I feel like, this is something I would choose."

"I may have mentioned to her what you're like," This time, John was rubbing the back of his neck; James thought it was quite cute. He had to make John embarrassed more often, "I like noodles anyway, so it's good for me too."

John grinned and James smiled back, their food arrived and they began eating; between bites, James talked about his books, he'd wrote out a small list for John to get started with. When they were done with their food, James spoke first, "You don't have to read everything I wrote down, it's just a few suggestions," He could tell by the look on John's face that he was overwhelmed, "Try one, see if it's something you can enjoy."

"Okay," John smiled, he folded up the paper and put it into his pocket, "It's nice getting to know you like this. I get surprised by how much I'm drawn to you, I know it's this whole soulmates thing..." He took a breath, shrugging, "Do you want to go for a little walk through the park? I know a nice one that's really close to this noodle bar and it's quiet."

James nodded, "The park sounds lovely. I'm actually surprised too and yeah, it's because we're soulmates. But I feel like we've been so compatible, I thought I'd hate all this. I've only had one serious relationship before and even not being soulmates, I hated being tied down by all that but being with you comes naturally," He laughed, rubbing his face with a hand, "God, I sound so stuffy."

"No. I feel the same, it's like I've known you for years...That's so sappy," John chuckled, feeling relieved when he saw James smiling quite fondly towards him, "Shall we finish our drinks then get moving?" James nodded; they shared more basic information about their lives while they finished off the drinks. Once they were done, they split the bill then John led them towards the park. Truth was, Max had mentioned the park too when she's picked the noodle bar; John didn't want to admit that part though. John figured James had heard enough about what he'd done to make today perfect for them both, it wasn't as if Max had needed convincing, it was just that John preferred to have made up his mind on his own and he knew that James probably wouldn't have liked his ideas of an interesting day.

They made it to the park and began walking down one of the trails, "This is a nice place. Have you been before?"

"No," John shook his head; he couldn't admit that he'd pushed Max for more ideas, "I was looking at reviews for that noodle bar, to make sure it had decent food and a few people had mentioned that there's this nice park nearby. I figured it would be worth a stroll." _Well_ , it had sounded better this way at least.

James smiled, he had a feeling that John wasn't being completely honest but he thought it was endeering. How much effort he'd gone through to make James comfortable made it feel like butterflies were trying to escape from his stomach, "It's lovely. Thanks John."

"Sure?" John smiled, wondering why James had thanked him. They strolled around the trails in the park, talking about what came to mind; how their jobs worked, how their lives were on a daily-basis. Before they realised it, the sun was beginning to set, John glanced at his watched, "It's getting late. Fancy dinner too?"

James smiled, "Yeah. That sounds great, we could have a few drinks, unwind a little," John nodded, they headed back into town, James picked a decent restraunt and John knew straight away that it was probably going to be expensive. James could afford these types of places though, maybe John could get him to pay for their bill; they were seated pretty quickly. The staff seemed friendly with James, he probably came here often. Their waiter filled up their glasses with water then left them to decide on their food and drinks, "See if there's anything you like," He passed the drinks menu to John, who scanned it for a moment with a raised brow; there wasn't even prices listed and it worried him, "Don't worry about the bill. I picked this place, I know how expensive it is."

"Okay," John's mouth felt a little dry, he took a sip of the water that the waiter had left them, "What would you suggest? I'm not a big wine drinker."

"They do beers, if you like. Get whatever makes you feel comfortable," John nodded, he put the drinks menu down and picked up the food menu, instantly drawn to the sea bass dish with chili prawns and fries, "I usually get a steak, they're delicious."

John looked at the steaks, they all came with fries, onions and a sauce of choice depending on the cut, "I like the sound of the sea bass."

"Wonderful choice, should we order then?" John nodded, putting the menu back, James waved over the waiter, who was at their table in a flash, "Could we get the sea bass, the fillet mignon: medium-rare with rosemary butter sauce, and for drinks, a glass of Pinot Noir and a bottle of Budweiser. Thank you." The waiter nodded and was off again, James drank a sip of his own glass of water, watching John shift a little in his seat, "You're fine here, okay? You look great. Call this, a thank you for thinking of me today. The noodle-bar and the park, I know you put a lot of thought into that. I know this isn't your type of place, but I wanted to treat you."

Before John could retort, their drinks arrived at the table, he watched James breathe in the scent of his wine before taking a sip; he wasn't shocked that James was a wine-drinker and John was smart enough to know that wine was best with a steak, "I just wanted to make today perfect and I really enjoyed myself, being with you," He looked away, avoiding James' gaze, "After Jack's birthday and the night-club, I figured this was the best I could do to make it up to you."

"John," James' soft voice made John turn back to look at him, he was leaning over the table and John had to swallow at the sudden closeness, "You never have to do something you're uncomfotable with to impress me or make me happy. Being with you fills me with a strange warmth that I'm not used to. I like it, I know it sounds so typical to say, with us being soulmates. But, I am coming to truly like you and all your loudness," He relaxed back in his chair and John felt a little disappointed; he was beaming at James' words though, they made him fill with the warmth that James had spoken of.

John was just disappointed that James hadn't kissed him, the man's eyes were practically trained on his lips and John was prepared for it to happen; he was being stupid though, they were in a public place! They still barely knew each other. So lost in his thoughts, he hadn't realised their food had arrived until the plate was placed in front of him; he muttered a quick thank-you to the waiter and began eating. This meal was a lot more quiet than the one they'd had at the noodle bar, John could tell something had shifted since he thought that James was going to kiss him; by no means was the silence awkward, it just felt a little heavy around him and he didn't know if James felt the same, he was sat there peacefully eating his meal.

So John continued eating his own, ocassionaly having a drink of his beer; he finished the bottle quicker than he'd expected to, but it helped made him feel comfortable, and he wasn't really shocked when a new one appeared in front of him, he'd expected something like that from what he'd already witnessed. Once they finished their food, James smiled at him, "Would you care to share a dessert? The pofiteroles are devine."

"Yeah. That sounds good."

The waiter came to take their plates and addressed James, "Any desserts Mr. Flint?"

"We'll get the pofiteroles to share, thank you," The waiter nodded, soon vanishing from the table; so James came here enough for the staff to have learned his name. James started up a little small-talk about work while they waited, John managed to tell a funny story that he'd had with a client before the pofiteroles were placed between them along with two spoons, "You take the first bite, since I've had them before."

John smiled, he scooped one into his mouth, surprised at the sweetness of it, "You like these? They're quite sweet."

"Yes, caramel and chocolate. I have a major sweet-tooth when it comes to these," James grinned; they shared the dessert then James called for the bill. John barely blinked when James just paid using his card, without even looking at the price, he left a tip in the tray with the reciept, "Thank you," They left together, John muttering his own thank-you on the way out, "Can I walk you home?"

John's eyebrows shot up in shock, he hadn't really expected James to ask, "Uh, sure. It's not far." James just smiled and waited for John to take the lead; as they walked, John relayed a few more stories of incidents he'd had with clients, James had shared a few of his own stories. Mostly about the way his employee's acted whenever he walked into a room and for the first-time since the party, John had learned the guy he'd hooked up with actually worked in James' company. They arrived at John's apartment quicker than he would have liked, he enjoyed spending time with James, but now was a decent enough time if James was going to kiss him today, "I had fun. We should meet up again soon."

"Yeah, that sounds good, I'll let you know when I'm free," James was smiling and John was waiting, his eyes kept flickering to James' lips, he almost dropped when the tip of his tongue swiped over his lips, "Goodnight." _What the fuck?_ James was clearly waiting for John to respond, but he was too busy silently fuming.

Screw waiting for James to make the first move, John would take the initiative. He stepped forward and kissed James; something awoke in James, like a primal desire, he gripped John and pressed him against the hard-wood of the door. His tongue probing at every inch of John's mouth, it left John panting against James' lips, his hands running over the muscles of James' back. He fumbled his keys of out his pocket, rattling them in his hand, the noise made James pull back, both of them flushed and gasping, "Inside?"

"Yes," James' voice was hoarse, he watched as John let them into his apartment; as soon as the door closed behind them. James' lips were on John's again, pushing his jacket free from his frame, they only broke the kiss when their shirts were pulled from their torsos. James hands were warm against John's skin and he sunk into them, trying his hardest to lead them into his bedroom; once they were there, he fell to the bed, James still pressed against him.

John's hand was pawing at the growing hardness in James' jeans; James' lips were at his neck and he couldn't help but tilt his head, his mouth open as soft groans spilled from his lips. James breath was warm against his skin, his thigh pressed against him and John couldn't help but roll his hips against the pressure. The movement made James pull away and John almost whined at the loss of the warmth; he was soon rewarded though when James was tugging his jeans free. He looked at James, holding himself still as he watched James undress himself, John gasped when James' warm hand enveloped his length; he gave a swift tug, his eyes glistening as John groaned and bucked his hips, wanting more.

"Tell me what you need."

John was so lost he didn't even realise James had moved against him again, until that whisper greeted his ear. He swallowed, taking a deep breath before he spoke, "Fuck me, please," James rubbed a finger over his entrance and he couldn't help but shudder, "Night stand. Lube, condoms," His voice was breathy, desperate with need. When John heard the drawer open, he almost sighed with relief, knowing what James was about to do only made him harder. James dropped a good amount of lube to his fingers then pressed his index against John's entrance, he felt him relax and it made James' nerves set on fire. It was like John was giving himself to him, he stretched the muscles before adding a second finger; John writhed against the pleasure, practically melting into James' touch as James prepared him. John wanted more, he hated to feel so needy but he couldn't wait any longer, the warmth in his chest felt like it was going to explode, "James...Please."

James withdrew his hand, he was beginning to ache, John's noises having sent his brain into overdrive; he quickly unwrapped the condom and rolled it down his length, he applied some lube and pressed himself to John. John gasped softly as James' length breached him, his hands gripping at strong shoulders as James sunk in; it wasn't like he'd never done this before, or that he wasn't well-prepared but James' length fit so perfectly, the initial sensation shocking him to the core. The softness of James' hands on his hips made John practically melt into his body; he squeezed James' right arm, groaning when James began thrusting. The feeling for James was just as strong, it was almost like his body shuddered with each thrust, warmth filling him from head to toe; he knew they belonged together, but he never imagined that it would feel quite like this.

John couldn't hold back his groans, he rocked his hips against every thrust that James made, it already felt like it was too much even though they'd only just began. The warmth of James hands on his hips spread through him like a fire; somehow, even though he knew this was supposed to be, he felt like a whore, laying on his back and moaning like this. He simply couldn't help it and with every soft grunt James gave as he moved, John felt like his own vocal appreciation only sounded louder, almost echoing off the walls. James leaned down, when their bodies touched, they were both sure that a shock ran through them; his lips pressed to John's, swallowing the noises as they moved together, "I've never wanted someone so much before." James wasn't sure where those words came from, but they were the truest he'd ever spoke in such an intimate situation.

John would agree, if he was sure his vocal cords could string the letters together; he knew that he probably wouldn't be able to make any other noise right now. The pleasure that rushed through him was taking over his body, like a blessing...Or even a curse. John was certain that he'd never want anyone like this ever again, no-one would match up to the way that James made him feel; he could feel that he was already leaking and James hadn't even touched his cock yet. The way James moved and gave him the sense of fullness was enough to make John feel like he was going insane. And when James' thrusts came quicker, harder, his groans reached the point where John knew he'd be resting his voice for a good while after; then James' fingers finally wrapped around his length and he could begin weeping at how good the warmth felt.

James' own groans were louder now, and John figured he must be getting close too; if it felt this good for him, James had to be feeling the same things. His thrusts were more sporadic, his hand jerking quickly at John's length and John wished he could hold back, but the more he felt the impending release of his climax, he couldn't push it back. Everything felt like it was moving at a million miles an hour, James words were revolving in his head, his groans hitting every nerve like a hammer and, he let go, writhing and grunting at the feeling; his hands clawing at James' arms. James breathed against John's lips, he thrust a few more times before stuttering, a long groan falling from his lips; he slowed to a stop, pausing for a moment before withdrawing from John, " _Fuck_." John gasped, his arms falling to the bed. They laid there for a moment, taking in the calm after their release; James moved first, disposing of the used condom and wrapper into the trash. He then sauntered into John's bathroom like he owned the place and it made John's stomach perform a somersault; _God_ , James was hot and he clearly fucking knew it too. John pried himself from the softness of his bed, he followed James and wordlessly joined him in the shower.

They took their time washing together, James fingers carefully running through John's curls, they both got distracted sharing kisses and looks of longing. John hadn't realised it, but all these years with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, was because he didn't have **this** ; he felt whole, like James had shocked him back to life, and he loved it. Once they'd stepped out of the shower, they dried each other then headed back into the bedroom and sunk into bed together; James limbs automatically tangling around John's, the scent of his body-wash hung in the air and James breathed it in, enjoying the blissful moment, "I..." He couldn't find the words he wanted, _I need you_ , it hung on his tongue like a secret he was afraid of sharing, "Goodnight John."

"'Night." John was wondering what James was going to say but the warmth of James body was lulling him to sleep; a cloud of tiredness wrapped over his body like a rush of wind. His eyes slipped closed and his body gave up...He could always ask when morning came.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The inner workings of Chelsea's brain/logic: "Grow closer" = "Have sex". Yep, legit :'') Ya'll knew it was coming! And so were they ;)  
> lmao, sorry. BUT seriously. I can't write slow-burn as much as I would like to, so, yeah, sexy times in Ch.3.
> 
> Come to my [Tumblr](http://caelumswriting.tumblr.com/) and cry with me about SilverFlint ;-;
> 
> Also, I've actually had sea bass with chilli prawns and it was gorgeous. Just something that I thought of while writing their little dinner date.


	4. Blossoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and John try to spend more quality time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly a filler chapter. I literally just finished it, I figured a small update was better than nothing. I actually have a lot of future chapters wrote for this fic, so once I get to that point this fic should be getting updated quite quickly.
> 
> I don't know why I've been struggling so much with writing SilverFlint lately, I still read a lot. I'm not a super confident writer so other stuff sometimes makes me go in a bit of a slump.

Light slowly poured into the room, James shifted, yawning softly as he slowly opened his eyes; he curled into the heat at his side, his arms settling around John's frame. He smiled when he felt John wrap his arms around his waist, his head rubbing against his neck, "Mornin'." _Oh_ , he could definitely get used to this.

"Good morning," James pressed his lips to John's forehead, warmth radiated in his chest; he felt comfortable, it was new to him and he loved it, "Sleep well?"

John nodded, he pressed his lips to James' shoulder, "Do you want some coffee or breakfast?"

"No, this is fine." And it really was, James felt full enough from the joy within his body. Now he understood what people meant when they talked about having a soulmate; the feeling of being complete was almost overwhelming and James hadn't realised what he'd been missing out on. John pressed his lips to James' jaw this time, smiling softly; he felt content, he could describe it as feeling like he'd been asleep his entire life and Jame shocked him awake.

It was new, John wouldn't change it for anything else in the world... _God_ , he was so stupid to have even thought for a time that he didn't need it--no, that he wasn't **worthy** of it, but now he found it, he wouldn't let it go. He felt so stupid for ever thinking otherwise, it felt amazing; even this silence between them, just cuddling, was comfortable. Just as John was dozing off again, he heard his phone ringing and he groaned, "Ugh..." He dragged himself from the bed, grabbing his phone from his discarded pants and answered it, "Hello," James watched him from the bed, John hadn't got dressed yet and James loved it, the curve of his ass made James lick his lips; he caught the anchor on John's back and smiled. Even as John paced the room, talking on the phone, he looked amazing; James' eyes travelled down the span of his body, roaming over the scar on his left leg. He hadn't seen it in the darkness of the room last night and he had to wonder where he'd gotten it from; John had spotted the way James was looking at him just as he ended the call and he smirked, "Like what you see?"

"Yeah," James ran his eyes over John's frame; John put his phone on his dresser and climbed back onto the bed, "Wasn't that important? You looked annoyed."

John shrugged, he leaned over James and kissed him, "Not really, just work, it can wait until later." James reached up, cupping John's face before pulling him into a searing kiss; John let himself melt into the feeling, their tongue's melded together. James fingers began tangling into John's curls, their bodies pressing closer together and it didn't feel like enough with the duvet in the way; John broke the kiss, rushing to pull the duvet from James' body. He needed to feel his skin closer, John pressed against James and kissed him again, his right hand held him in place and his left trailed down James' side; James' breath hitched, goosebumps spreading across his skin. His hands ran over John's back as they kissed, his fingers massaged the skin and when he felt John shiver and he knew he'd found the mark; he pressed his fingers against that spot causing John to moan against his lips.

James pulled John against him, smirking into the kiss as John rubbed against his leg; he tightened his grip on John and swiftly flipped them over. As much as the thought of John riding him was clear and _oh so heavenly_ in his mind, he wanted to have John writhing for him first. His finger ran over John's hips and thighs, dipping close to his member; when James heard John suck in a breath, he grinned, "I love the way you feel."

John hummed, melting into James' touch as his hands wandered, John's phone rang again and he groaned, rolling his eyes, "Not again," James' lips were on his stomach as the phone rang off, silence taking over the room. It helped John focus on the touch again, his eyes closing as James mouthed a path up his body then the phone rang again and James pulled away, making John whine, "Really?" He got up, angrily answering his phone, "What?"

James chuckled, watching as John paced, he looked completely defeated by the time he finished the call, "Let me guess, you have to go?"

"Yeah, otherwise they'll keep pestering me. I'm sorry."

"It's fine, go shower, get ready."

John smiled, he vanished into the bathroom and took a quick shower, when he returned, he reluctantly got dressed, glancing over at James as he did, "I don't want to go."

"Don't worry about it," James smiled, "You can make it up to me later, go to work. I'll be fine. Come here," John walked over, Jame finished fastening his pants then pulled him into a kiss. It lasted until John's phone beeped, they broke the kiss, smiling at each other, "Go on. I'll lock up for you and I'll text you my address." James watched as John grabbed the last of his things and left; he sighed and dropped back down onto the bed, of course he was going to miss John. He knew that the pull of a soulmark could be strong, but he felt like he never wanted to leave John's side. Maybe he could do something to help him out?

* * *

John wondered if he could kill someone and get away with it; he'd ended up finishing after only twenty minutes at work, it was so easy and simple. Surely someone else could have done it. He officially hated emergencies, just because it needed to be done _today_. What a pain. But he ended up helping one of the newer guys with a new project they'd been given, completely forgetting about how much he missed James. Keeping busy wasn't such a bad thing after all.

He enjoyed his job and he wouldn't change it; once John took a break, he sent a message to James, letting him know what was going on, _'Staying longer than I though, new project and someone new has been dumped with most of the hefty stuff so I'm helping out. I'll see you tonight for dinner, promise.'_

 _'Don't worry about it. Just pick up something nice to eat and I'll forgive you.'_ John chuckled at James' quick reply, he could definitely end up thinking of something nice. Maybe he could cook, if James would let him. John went back to work, smiling to himself, no matter how busy he kept himself, he couldn't stop thinking about seeing James again; a few people commented on it but John merely shrugged it off, just wanting to get finished so he could leave.

When it was finally time for John to leave, he practically sprinted out; it was later than he expected so he shot a message to James and ended up picking a McDonald's up for their dinner. He could always cook next time, he headed to the address that James' had given him, a little surprised to see that it was a simple looking house; still probably a lot bigger than John's apartment, but he was half-expecting to be turning up at a mansion. He took a breath and walked down the path, he then rung the bell, not waiting long before James opened the door, smiling down at him, "Hey. Come on in," He stepped aside, watching as John made his way in, "Oh! You brought food, I'm starving."

"Sorry I'm so late, things got a little hectic. But I had fun," John smiled, James led him into the kitchen and they settled down at the table with their food, "Did you do anything today?"

"Ended up going in and checking up on things," James smiled, "Kept me busy while I was waiting for you. I'm glad you enjoyed work." He began opening his burger, John had played it safe with a Big Mac and James appreciated it; he rarely ate at McDonalds, usually just going out, or cooking, when he had the energy.

John grinned, he dug into his own burger, "I actually prefer working when we're busy. Keeps me on my toes." They made little conversation about their day while eating, sharing some more about their personal lives; James was a little surprised to hear about John's mixed-heritage of Australian and Irish, his mother being from Australia while his father was from Ireland but he'd grown up with his mother. She passed away when John was barely an adult. John learned about Thomas, the first person that James had thought was his soulmate, they were so perfectly matched, all but their Soulmarks and when Thomas had met his, the half-finished constellation of stars down his leg filled; they split and Thomas moved away to enjoy married life.

John spoke a little more about his disbelief in soulmates, until he met James, he'd never found anyone that lasted more than a night; John had thought James was going to judge him, so he ended up being very surprised but happy that James didn't even say anything about it. He couldn't believe just how lucky he was to have James in his life, he seemed completely perfect and it made John feel like he was on cloud nine. James hadn't said it, but his opinion of John's work had changed, John didn't need helping and James figured that putting his foot in wouldn't be very welcomed; he was glad to be by John's side and... _Wait_ , they hadn't even really made things completely official, how could he forget that? "John, everything's gone so quick for us already, I can't help being so drawn to you and I know you feel it too," John was looking at James like he was completely strange, "What I mean is, I'd like you do be my boyfriend, if that's okay? I don't want to lose you," He reached out, grasping John's hand in his own, "I don't want this to end."

"Yeah, I'd really like that," John smiled, he felt so breathless at James' words. He wanted to hold onto this forever, it wasn't something he wanted to be a one-time thing, not like the rest; John wound their fingers together, it was a sign of how he felt, tangled with James, "I really want to appreciate every second with you." James smiled, they finished off the remnants of their food then put their rubbish into the bin; they ended up cuddled on the couch with some silly little food network show on, enjoying the rest of their evening together.


	5. How Could it End Like This?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mark stood proudly on his back, like some kind of joke. Soulmates weren't real, and John refused to believe it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from _[Dance Macabre by Ghost](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9pFB0DS-bQ)._ AGAIN. I need to stop listening to this song when thinking/writing about SilverFlint.
> 
> It makes sense in my head, you'll see.
> 
>  **Advanced warning:** Not very good things happen in this chapter, I'm so sorry.  
>  ALSO, guess why I reused the summary? ;-;

John couldn't believe just how quick the last month had gone by, he and James were only getting closer as time passed. He still couldn't comprehend just how lucky he was, the only thing that had briefly annoyed him was getting teased by Max and Billy, but he just ignored them so he could bask in his happiness. Between work and dating, John's life had began to feel so band-new to him, it definitely felt like waking from a long dream and he didn't want to change it.

They had a new contract at work too and John had been given the position of team-leader so he'd been especially busy, but at the end of the day, James would meet him and take him for a meal; the steady routine settled John and he loved it, he always looked forward to it. When John could get away from work, he would take lunch to him, today was another one of those days, he had some extra time at lunch to go visit James.

John couldn't keep the smile off his face, he'd picked up some tacos for their dinner, he decided to walk for a change, enjoy the scenery and the weather before ending up cooped in James' office. He was broke out of his reverie when he heard a loud bang and felt the ground rumble, everyone around him looked shocked by it and something tugged at him to rush towards James. He took off running, sighing when he saw people still coming out of the building, he felt like he was being stupid. John waited for the road to clear of traffic then crossed over, smiling again as he made his way closer to the building.

Then right before his eyes, the brick cracked, people began rushing out of the building, not taking a second to look back. It all soon came tumbling down, exactly the way his heart felt in his chest. _No_. This couldn't be happening, he was in a nightmare, John fell to his knees, time felt like it was slowing to a stop. He couldn't speak but he wanted to scream the world down.

He felt like he kneeled there forever, when a pair of arms pulled him up, he looked abashed at the fireman, "James?" He looked back to the building--rubble now, "He's gone?"

"I'm sorry, we're pulling bodies, can you call someone? You shouldn't be here."

John could hear the emotion, sympathy, but he still felt like he'd been crushed; he nodded, letting the fireman lead him back across the road, just a little further from the building, he shakily got out his phone and called Max, "The building. Max! James is gone," His voice cracked, tears blurring his vision, "He's gone!"

 _"I'll come get you. Be safe, mon chéri,"_ The call ended, John put the phone away, looking anywhere else than at that rubble again, how was he supposed to deal with this. What would happen to him? His soulmate was gone, he could never move on from this. The pain was unbearable. John barely blinked when Max's car pulled up, she got out, surveying the scene, "Que c'est il passé ? C'est terrible. John!"

John looked at her, "English, please, Max. My brain hurts." She took him under her arm, huddling him into the car and muttering in French. He lulled back against the seat, not even listening anymore; she set off, talking to him but not a single word going through his head.

They arrived at her apartment and she took him in, sitting him on the couch, "Talk to me, mon chéri."

"I was taking him lunch. There was a bang, and a rumble like an earthquake. Then the building just fell. H--he was in there. He's gone...We were just fitting together and now he's gone." John shattered, the words making everything feel **real** , as much as he didn't want to believe them.

"I'm so sorry." Max held him as he cried. She didn't know how to help him, but she knew if she'd lost Anne, that John would be her should to cry on; so she would do that much and try to get him through this dark time.

* * *

The mark stood proudly on his back, like some kind of joke. Soulmates weren't real, and John refused to believe it. He'd heard from people that if someone lost theirs, the mark disappeared, so why was he still haunted by his? That anchor felt like an insult to James' memory, John couldn't stop checking, waiting for it to leave his skin; he'd stood-by helplessly when the building had collapsed, unable to do anything about it. People were still working hard to recover bodies from the rubble, John dreaded the day when they found James' body, if it never happened then John could keep some hope that maybe James had found a way out, survived and that's why his soulmark was still there.

 _But_ , if that were true...James would have come straight to see him. John felt like he was going crazy, it had been just over a month now since the building had fell, he hadn't gone into work, Max had tried to comfort him as best as she could, but John just didn't feel that she understood what he was going through. He could still remember every word he'd spat at her.

_"Don't you get it? He's gone and I've still got this stupid mark **taunting me**!" He was furious, he knew Max was there to help, support him through his grieving but with the mark practically laughing at him: how could he? "If you lost Anne..."_

_Max gently rubbed her hand over his back, "I'd be a mess, you'd be there for me though John, I know it. So, please, let me help you."_

_"Bring him back then!" And he broke down, frustration and grief taking over his body._

John remembered clearly how he'd pushed her away, screaming and crying like a lunatic, but Max had come back the next day, and the next after that. She would sit and hold his hand as they watched the news, waiting to see if another body had been identified. He'd given up watching it last week, refusing to acknowledge what was going on around him, even Billy had tried to distract him, keep his mind busy. But John kept himself closed off, only speaking a few words to anyone that spent time with him, he just wanted James back with him.

* * *

"How are you feeling today?" The cold cloth felt like a blessing on his forehead, his eyes were vacant and when Lilly--as he'd come to know, ran her finger over the mark on his arm, he shuddered, "Remember anything new, John?" Green eyes blinked wearily, Lilly pushed away a stray ginger lock as he shook his head. That's the only thing he was certain of, the name John but he didn't even know if it was his own, Lilly had insisted on at least calling him that for now until something else came to his foggy mind. He was like a _John Doe_ after-all, unknown even to himself...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goddamn, I had this all planned out from the very beginning, but it still hurt me to write this. As seen, James is alive which explains why John's mark hasn't gone. But James is still pretty clueless about himself. He just needs John.
> 
> Also, a big thanks to my French beauty [Armelle](http://metallica-slipknot.tumblr.com/) for the translation!! :D


	6. Pieces of Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James tries to figure out who he truly is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY. I wasn't going to update this so soon, but I just wanted to fix things a little bit. So, here it is :)

While Lilly was rinsing the cloth, he decided to ask the one thing that bothered him, "Do you know what the mark means?"

"Yes," She smiled sweetly, "It's a soulmark," She showed him the set of stars on her right wrist, "They complete if you meet your soulmate, so you've met yours. Whoever has a mark identical to yours is your soulmate, they could help you remember who you are...It won't be easy to find them though, you can't exactly go around asking to see everyone's mark," She laughed at that, "Not all of them are somewhere obvious like mine and yours."

His mouth suddenly felt dry, he was beginning to feel hopeful for the first time since he'd woken up with his memory gone; but she was right, it wouldn't be easy to just walk up to someone and hope they had the anchor somewhere he could easily see it, "Your soulmate then?"

"He's a mechanic, his name is Anthony. You're a lot like him actually, well, from what I know of you," Lilly grinned, "You're both kind people, and you enjoy reading the books I bring you, they're all his. He's in another country at the moment, I really miss him, but he's trying to set up his own place, so I support him," This time her smile was sad, longing in her hazel eyes; she flipped the t.v on, passing the remote to the man she'd named John, "I'll go grab some food for you." At that, she was gone.

He absentmindedly flicked through the channels, stopping for a second on the news, _"The scene at Flint Industries is tough, firefighters are still searching for more bodies beneath the rubble, but the sad news is that there's so much to go through, people are still missing. Including CEO and founder James Flint," A picture flashed up onto the screen, "There are also still over one hundred missing employees," Slowly, a picture of each face passed by, "Families are praying that one day they will have closure on this awful incident--"_

He abruply changed the channel, the face of James Flint felt so familiar, some of the employee's from the company also felt like people he might know. He stood up and ventured into the bathroom, Lilly didn't know him and he'd asked for her to remove the mirrors, he took a deep breath, ready to brace himself for a sight he still wasn't sure he was ready for. He got as good of a look as he could from the faucet, shooting back when the face that stared back, regardless of how burned, was clearly the one he'd seen on the news; _James Flint_ , that was his name? He couldn't remember, but it had to be him, why else would he look so much like that man?

"Hello?" When James heard Lilly's voice, he exited the bathroom, she placed a tray on the bed for him, "I know it's not much--"

"I was on the news just now. Or, my face...I looked in the faucet, I know the damage is bad, but it... _Was_ me. James Flint. That's me."

"James," Lilly nodded, "It's nice to meet you and this is a step in the right direction, remember what the doctor had said?" How could he forget? He'd only just been freed from the confines of hospital merely two days ago. They'd asked him if he wanted to look and he turned them down, but now, he was actually grateful that he did, otherwise he might never have known his own name. He realised Lilly was waiting for a response and nodded to her, "When I found you, it was close to Flint Industries, I don't know if you got flung away from the impact or if you'd crawled out of the way. No-one at the hospital recognised you."

James sighed, "Can you blame them? I probably looked worse right after what happened than what I do now, and I didn't know anything."

"I'm sorry, but this is good, we can go find your friends--"

"No! What if they don't recognise me?" He suddenly remembered what she'd said about soulmates, he subconsciously rubbed his arm with a sigh, "What if my soulmate hates the way I look? If they don't recognise me, what will happen?"

"James," Lilly held his arms, steadying him, "They probably miss you. They'll be thinking you died, anything is better than nothing and they can help you remember whatever you've forgotten. Maybe, we'll just go to a local police station, okay? If they care, they'll come for you. I know it's a big step but you need to do this. I'm sure they'll be happy to see you alive."

James took a deep breath, he agreed with Lilly though, so they set off to the nearest police station; he hoped, within his gut that someone would come for him, help him remember what was blocked in his mind. Something in his heart ached to meet his soulmate too, the one he was bound to forever.

* * *

They waited for what seemed like days until the door opened, James' eyes widened at the curly-dark hair, the name flaring up his throat again, "John?"

"James," Bright-blue eyes flickered to life, he rushed over and embraced him, "I thought you died. I saw the building collapse. I--I...How are you here?"

James didn't know what to do, he looked over at Lilly for help, she stood and placed a hand on John's shoulder, pulling his attention away, "Hello, I'm Lilly. I found James, took him into the hospital. He...He lost his memory, so they let me care for him. It wasn't until his picture came on the news the other day, that's why we came here."

"Do you have a soulmate?" She nodded, John turned around and hiked up his shirt, revealing the anchor on his back; James felt the urge to reach out, but instead, he touched his own, realising they were identical. When John turned back, putting his shirt back into place, he smiled, "I do too. I never thought I could, then James came into my life. He made me realise just how much I'd missed out on. I know it will take patience for his memory to come back, but I'd like to take him home," He looked to James too, "If that's okay? I want to help you remember."

It stung when James looked to Lilly as if she was going to answer for him; she tilted her head, brow raised as if telling him to make his own mind up. James remembered how he felt upon seeing John's soulmark, he belonged with him, it was the only name he'd remembered when he woke in the hospital, "Okay," He nodded, John could help him, maybe being together would awaken something more, "Okay, I'd like that." John knew there was reservation in James words, but he seemed happy to go, so John led him out, thanking Lilly for what she'd done; then taking James home.

* * *

John didn't know how to swallow as he watched how James moved around his home with uncertainty, even if the pictures proved that this place was his, he picked everything up with a cautious hand, "I live here?"

"Yes."

"With you?"

"No, not yet. We only met a few months ago, it was awful really, I don't know how you put up with me. But I--I," The words dissolved on John's tongue, "Uh. We fit so perfectly, the way you touch me. It's so right, nothing I've felt before," James looked at him, curiosity raising his brows, "We're together, if that's what you want to know. You asked me, wanted to make things official, a month before...I watched it crumble down. I was bringing you lunch, then it was gone. _You_ were gone."

James touched John, tentative, but it felt so comfortable, like he'd done it ten million times before, "I'm sorry. I wish I could remember the time we spent together," The touch was like ice against John's skin, he knew that James was being reluctant and it killed him more than seeing the building fall, "I just need time. Can you wait for me? I want to relive the moments we spent together, is that okay?"

"You always ask me how I feel. It's never about you, that hasn't changed..." John gently took James' hand watching the way his eyes flickered, he kissed James' fingers then brushed his thumb over the spot, "I'd wait forever, I don't care how long it takes." James smiled, grasping at John's hand; he slowly let go and continued around the house. John watched, the tingling his his hand making his heart beat just a little faster; he really hoped that time could fix this, he wanted to keep James by his side forever, protect him from anything happening again.

"Do you know about Flint Industries? What's happening?"

"I'm not sure, with you gone and so many people dead, no-one knew what to do. It's stalled."

"You could have took over, I bet you would have done well."

John sighed, he knew James was trying to be kind, but it still hurt, "I was grieving, I couldn't do anything. I wasn't even going in to my _own_ job, I definitely couldn't take yours. Luckily my boss is so understanding, he gave me all the time off I needed."

"What do you do?"

"Marketing," John remembered the conversation they'd had in the night club, how uncomfortable James had been until he settled, talking to John; then they went back to his apartment and James passed out, it made him smile, "I told you on our first official date. You really pissed me off before that, treated me like I was annoying you, that you would have been better off with anyone else as your soulmate, but you came running after me, practically begged me to go out with you," _Okay_ , so he might be pushing that a little bit, "So I made you come to a night-club with me, just to get back at you. But you actually enjoyed it, I didn't expect you to."

"Sorry, for whatever I said," John waved it off, James had already apologised anyway, "I can't imagine being in a night-club. Too noisy."

That made John smile, well, he hadn't changed too much despite the memory loss, "Yeah. I ended up going to a nice little noodle bar with you on our second date, I felt a little guilty for dragging you to that club," John walked over to the bookcase and ran a finger across the books that sat there, "You talked about your books. How much they meant to you."

"There is quite a few," James walked over too, leaning past John to grab a book and read the blurb on the back, "I see, I could enjoy something like this. When Lilly was looking after me, her soulmate is a big fan of books, she would bring me one to read," He put the book back, smiling down at John, "They made me feel comfortable, like it was something I _knew_ without needing to think about it. Like your name, it was the first thing that came to me in the hospital. All I said, when they checked on me, was _John_. It was like a mantra playing in my head, or a song on repeat but I couldn't figure out why. Now I know it was you." His hand reached out, caressing John's cheek, "I may not remember you, but I **know** , deep down, you mean more to me than these books ever could."

John melted against the hand, _oh_ , James was being so sweet; this was the man that John had grown to love. The one, even without some stupid soulmark binding them, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He leaned up, softly kissing him, before remembering that it was probably unfair and he stepped back, bumping into the shelf, "I--Sorry. I shouldn't have--"

But James leaned down, capturing his lips, silencing the rest of his words; the soft brush had made something warm pulse through James' body, he wanted it back, the feeling...Like he was _home_. John was there, his soulmate--his lifeline, he wanted it all back. John grasped at James' arm as their tongues began to mould together; the heat in his own body was welling up, he couldn't quite remember if all their kisses had felt this good. This was something new, his fingers caressed the scars on James face and the touch was gone, he was stood there, feeling so cold all of a sudden; James stepped back, holding his own face, "You recognised me, in the station."

"Of course. I--," John swallowed the words, he didn't want to admit that when James didn't even know who he really was, "You're still as gorgeous as the day I last saw you. Scars mean nothing, a smudge in your story...It's what you told me, when you asked about my leg," He pulled up his jeans a little, revealing some of the scarring to James, "You'd just kiss them, all of them and tell me it was okay." He dropped his hand and he watched as James' settled back down against his side; James smiled and John lips curled too.

Then, they kissed again, James felt more relaxed under John's touch now. John figured that the memory was only half of the issue, James had clearly been worried about how much his face had changed, but John didn't care and he wasn't lying. James still looked like an angel in his eyes; when the kiss broke, James took his hand, continuing his walk around the house, he let John explain the things he knew about and felt so much more comfortable. It made him feel like he'd been missing out, even if they'd only been separated by a few weeks; John was right, it was a lot like grieving, something lost and couldn't be replaced, James didn't know where the feeling came from. But now that he had John back, beside his side, it felt so warm and content; James could definitely adjust to this feeling, it was nice, he didn't want to let John go.


	7. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John works to help James recover some of his memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: This chapter will be cute and fluffy! All about revisiting places and letting James get his memory back  
> Also Me: They can have sex ;)
> 
> Hahaha, I can't help myself.  
> My outline was: {James and John revisit: cafe, park, restaurant & they smooch} So, that went well.

John let James get settled back into the house, waiting for him to feel at ease with everything before they wandered out. It was James who had finally came to him, asked if they could go somewhere for lunch, maybe a place that would help him remember; which is when John told him about the little noodle bar that Max had made him aware of, how nice the day had been.

Now, in the noodle bar, James felt comfortable. John had made their orders and James enjoyed it thoroughly; they sat and talked a while, John catching James up on how much of a whirlwind that their relationship had been. James loved it, John seemed so enthusiastic, calming down to mutter a few more explicit details, which made James blush a little but then he couldn't stop thinking about it; John had made it sound so tantalising, it made James a little hot under the collar.

After eating, they took a walk around the park, everything felt familiar to James; he knew they'd been here before, John had told him so. But now, being there, it was like he was seeing everything in a new light, a haze clearing, "The restaurant..." He remembered going there after, for dinner...Something else was pulling at James, he looked at John, expecting it to suddenly appear, but it was too far and he couldn't reach it, "Are we going back there?"

"Um, I think it'll be busy but we could walk past and have a little look in. They knew you pretty well when we went before, I don't think they'd mind. I couldn't afford that place anyway."

James' brows rose, he must have paid for it then, he figured being a big company owner probably brought in some decent money and John had mentioned that he only worked in marketing, "Yeah, there's something I feel like I'll remember if I go there. It's on the tip of my tongue. I'm really glad you brought me here first, thank you."

"I thought the club might have been a little too much, I know that you're happier in quiet places, I didn't want to overwhelm you."

James smiled, he was glad that John cared so much about how comfortable he was, he wondered if he was always like this, "A few people were staring at me in the noodle bar."

"Well, Mr. Flint, you're famous now. Anyone else left in that building died, you survived it. Found your way back to me," John held his hand, knotting their fingers together, "Let's go take a walk to the restaurant then, they'll probably let you in if you ask."

James nodded, he let John lead him and the walk felt familiar too, the bright sky was the only thing that didn't fit in James' mind, "We didn't come here so early before."

"No, we had a pretty long stroll and ended up chatting quite a bit, that day felt like it flew by. You walked me back to my place and I kissed you. It felt so right."

James couldn't remember their first kiss together, it stung harshly in his chest, John looked so happy talking about it too which only hurt more; maybe reliving that moment would help him remember a little more. They'd kissed in the house and it was nice, it felt like a spark running through him and James was already addicted to it; they reached the restaurant, James looked through the window. It was clearly an expensive place, packed with people that looked as if they were dressed for the Oscars; he could see the table, where they'd sat together, sharing profiteroles.

James closed his eyes, trying to remember what happened that night, _"Yes, caramel and chocolate. I have a major sweet-tooth when it comes to these._ He felt like he could taste them, caramel sweet and smooth in his mouth; he suddenly had the urge to kiss John...That's what it was, the feeling he couldn't place before, _"You never have to do something you're uncomfortable with to impress me or make me happy. Being with you fills me with a strange warmth that I'm not used to. I like it, I know it sounds so typical to say, with us being soulmates. But, I am coming to truly like you and all your loudness."_ The words swam around James' head, he felt a little dizzy, John's hand on his arm steadied him, "Thank you."

"I haven't done anything," James turned to John, smiling so purely, John's heart soared at the sight, "Did you remember something?"

"I wanted to kiss you, during the meal but I got nervous. I remembered telling you that I like you, even with your loudness."

John grinned, he leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to James' cheek, "That made me so happy, I don't mind change but I was really glad you didn't want me to change. And, I knew you were going to kiss me, I was so disappointed when you didn't, it was the reason I kissed you. I didn't want you to run away from it."

"I'm glad you didn't let me, everything is still so clouded at the moment but I **know** that the last couple of months between us were amazing, I don't need to remember everything that happened, your word is enough."

John kissed James, holding him close; James let himself sink into it, despite being in public, he felt like they were far away, perfectly alone together. When they broke the kiss, their hands met, "So next, we went to mine. I haven't been back in a while, so it might look a little ghostly at the moment." James just smiled and nodded, they took their leave; the walk back felt a lot clearer, seeing the restaurant had made James' mind feel like something he could definitely understand.

They reached John's apartment and John let them in, watching as James had a little look around, "It's nice, I think I like this more than my place."

"Really? You've never said that before," John smiled; he thought it was nice that James wasn't afraid to say what he was thinking, it did make John wonder if he'd thought it before but never said anything. What happened was awful, but it had seemed to change James a little more than what John had originally thought, "We kissed on the doorstep, then you know," John turned a little red, "It was nice, even if everything happened a little too fast, I could tell things would be good for us."

The thought crossed James' mind again, he watched John tidy up a little, making the place presentable; the curve of his ass was enticing, he licked his lips, wondering what it was like to... _Fuck_ , he shook his head, trying to erase the image, but it just kept creeping back. James walked over to John, running his hand down his spine, the shudder making him only want it more, "We could do that again, if you want?"

"I'd never say no," John turned to face James; their lips met, James' hands wandering down John's body, exploring as much as he could. It got heated fast, James' left hand cupping John's ass while his right rubbed his back, where the mark was; John held James' arm, his own fingers tracing his mark. The heat that rushed through their bodies made everything feel so intimate, James' hand dipped into John's pants, his finger tracing down to John's hole, caressing in slow circles; the kiss broke, John panting, "We should go upstairs."

James nodded, a little breathless too, he reluctantly withdrew his hand and they both headed up to the bedroom; lips joining again and hands wandering. James gently led John to lay on the bed, clothes flying across the room between kisses; James softly stroked John's length, he wanted to make it clear that this was what he wanted. John writhed beneath James' touch, groaning softly as the pleasure shocked through his body, his own hand travelled downward, his fingers slowly wrapping around James' length; James' free hand slid further down, a finger teasing against John's hole.

John gasped, reaching out to the bedside table; James reluctantly pulled away, he took out the bottle of lube and a condom, returning quickly to his position between John's legs, "John." The call of his name made John look up, he smiled as James squirted some of the lube over his fingers; he gently pressed one to John, slowly working him open. John sighed, tilting his head as James worked him loose, one finger soon turned to two, making John gasp and groan. After the third, John was certain he was going to lose his mind, so he grasped James arm, breath heavy; James withdrew and rolled on the condom, he applied a generous amount of lube to his length then slowly-- _achingly slow_ , began filling John.

John gripped the sheets, trying not to push it too quickly, he wanted more though and it was hard to restrain himself; once James settled, he sighed, rocking his hips a little, "Please, I need you." James rubbed his thumbs over John's hips, he slowly started thrusting, holding John tightly as the pleasure built up, washing over him; James sighed and groaned, the feeling was almost overwhelming to him, he felt like John hadn't expressed enough how perfect this really was.

John slowly rocked his hips into James' pace; it felt like so long since they'd been together like this and John realised just how much he loved James. Not for the sex, but the way he felt...Alive and free, like he was constantly on air. John wanted to tell James but he didn't think now was the right time, not while he was focusing on getting his memory back. So instead, he let himself melt into the pleasure, groaning softly as it rushed through his body. James leaned down to kiss John, the change in angle having them both grunting; John happily drank in James' noises, reaching up to grasp at his arms. James broke the kiss, bringing a hand up to caress John's cheek, his thrusts long and slow, his fingers playing with John's hair; it framed his face perfectly and James admitted how beautiful he looked.

John felt so breathless with James staring at him that way, it felt all new again, like he'd lost his memory too; John held tighter, letting himself melt into the rhythm. John gasped softly when James began to thrust quicker, he matched the pace, groans getting louder; James slid his hand from John's hip to his length, pumping him along to the rhythm. John's eyes closed, his mouth hanging open as the pleasure rocked his entire body; he knew he wasn't going to last much longer, all he could do was mutter between groans, hoping that James could understand what he was getting at.

James felt close too, knowing that John was about to burst only spurred him on and he thrust until John grunted, his hips bucking as his release washed over him; James wasn't far behind, he held John steady as he came. Slowly, they settled together, John's fingers tracing over the mark on James' arm; James smiled, he carefully pulled out, quickly grabbing some tissues to clean down John. He wrapped up the used condom too and put them into the trash, he leaned over and kissed John again, smiling, "Thank you, for letting me experience that."

"Of course, I couldn't deny you," John smiled, he felt gross, "I need a shower," James nodded, he could do with getting a wash too; he took John's hand and they headed into the bathroom together; he was glad that they could easily shower together. By the time they finished and got comfortable in bed together, John was getting tired, but he felt the need to say something to James, "How do you feel?"

James smiled, he was so happy that John cared so much about him, "I'm good, I should ask you that."

"I just want to make sure I'm not rushing things again. I want to take my time with you, I lost you once and I felt heartbroken," Maybe that was as good as admitting that he was in love, for now anyway, "I'm going to enjoy every single second with you back in my arms." James pulled John closer, kissing his forehead softly; he had felt the loss, without John, so he could understand but it still must have been worse, John had thought he died. James could never understand how _that_ felt, so he'd keep John safe in his arms, for as long as he could and he didn't mind if _some_ things were a little fast; he'd appreciate every moment too, no matter what it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wouldn't recommend sex to help deal with memory loss :'') James just couldn't stop thinking about having John though.


	8. Moving Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and John learn to live with the change to their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, for whatever reason, got really tough to finish. With everything going on, I do have a lack of motivation and I was fighting with writers block BUT, finally, it's here.

A month had flown by in the blink of an eye, James and John were very happy, they had eventually visited the night club; John thought James had seemed to enjoy it a little more than the first time, he wasn't sure if was just James putting on a face. Afterwards, he reassured John in the best way possible; he had ended up on the verge of breaking again and spilling his heart out to James, but it had still felt a little bit too soon.

After everything, John was more than ready to open his heart, he didn't want to feel like he'd lost James ever again. It was making him feel a little impatient, sometimes it felt like he was treading carefully around his words; John knew, at this point, nothing would chase James away. They were so close again, James' memories were coming back in flashes and he'd ask John about something that he couldn't quite figure out; they'd found a happy medium and James seemed to be settling into spending more time at his own house.

Though, James had told John far too many times that he missed him and would stay over at any chance he got; sometimes it felt like they were living together and it was nice, they fitted perfectly around each other. John began to feel like James had always been there, it was a real comfort to him and getting back into the swing of working, without worrying about James, was nice; if he wanted to do some work from home, he would get some of his shifts changed and worked with his colleague's through Discord, if needed.

James was beginning to sort everything for his company too, it was slowly coming together, he didn't want to rush things so that the families of anyone that had been lost had time to grieve and it gave James chance to get into the swing of company dealings; it gave him chance to process the own changes in his life too. James felt so grateful to have John by his side, supporting him through every decision he was making and he felt like an entire part of his life had been awoken and he couldn't be any happier.

A hand enveloped James' and he turned his head, smiling softly to John, "Hey."

"You look spaced out, take a break."

James glanced at the papers scattered over the coffee table, they could get stressful, but he felt content right now, "I'm okay, I was just thinking of you."

"Something nice, I hope," John's grin only helped to sooth James further, "Well, I suppose it has to be, since I'm so amazing," James chuckled but he felt inclined to agree with John, he couldn't think of anything bad to say, even if he tried, "Care to share?"

James threaded his fingers through John's, "I'm just grateful to have found you. I know it hasn't been easy for us, but I honestly wouldn't change a minute of it. I feel overwhelmed sometimes but I also feel completely brand new. Even with some of my memories scattered, with you, I know I belong."

"That's so gay," John rubbed his thumb across the back of James' hand, smiling softly, "But I understand," He leaned down and kissed James' cheek, **now** was the time, it felt right, he needed to say it, "I love you. Every fibre of my being calls out for you, you're the only thing I need."

James felt completely breathless, the familiar, comforting warmth filled his body and he gripped John's hand tighter, "John, I love you too," He turned his head and pressed their lips together; John felt like he melted, he basked in the kiss, allowing James to lead until they needed to part for air, "I feel it every time I'm with you."

"We're so mushy."

James grinned at John, he moved across on the sofa and pulled John into sitting beside him, "I don't care, we can be mushy. At least we're not as bad as Billy."

"No-one can be as bad as him," They both chuckled and John sat up to have a look through James' papers; he smiled at the progress James was making with everything, "This looks good babe, I'm really proud of you for doing this. You could have just gave up, buried your head but you're not."

"Thanks. I need to do this, not only for myself but for everyone affected, I want to help the families that lost people. I was lucky to just be injured, it won't ever compare to the people who lost their lives, it's the best I can do."

"You're honestly amazing, whoever decided you were my soulmate deserves to be blessed. I truly never thought I'd be lucky enough to even get a soulmate."

"I'm grateful to have you. I know how you were when we first met, how the idea of us was probably absurd and I was rude. I'm glad you stuck with me."

John grinned, he was glad too; James was right it had been hard for them and maybe things hadn't been as easy as they would have liked, or worked out in a way that they ever could have foreseen, but they were happy now and that's all that mattered really, "Well, I can be a pain too. We're just perfect together."

"Everyone has their moments, it's about being able to overcome that. I was frustrated a lot when we found each other again but you helped me through the confusion," James kissed John, soft and sweet, "I'll face anything with you by my side. We could conquer any mountain together." John melted into James, content and clear-headed, he knew they weren't untouchable or invincible but they could face everything together; so John would just hold every moment close, and he would make sure to keep James safe by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yes, sorry, it is ending here.
> 
> Maybe I'll come back and write a follow-up but for now, all my ideas for this have run dry. I did have a lot of fun writing this and, I want to say a big thank you to everyone who came along for the ride!

**Author's Note:**

> The lyrics from Dance Macabre that started this was actually:
> 
>  
> 
> _How could it end like this?_  
>  _There's a sting in the way you kiss me._  
>  _Something within your eyes,_  
>  _Said it could be the last time._  
>  _'Fore it's over!_
> 
>  
> 
> If anyone was curious :)


End file.
